Disagreement: The Price We Pay for Being Human
- Scott Bullerwell
- May 1
- 13 min read
This world is not without an ample supply of folks with strong convictions about things. Politics, legacy media, abortion, the gender cult, taxes, and Trump. Yah - especially Trump! Dare I add claims of alleged mass graves of indigenous children and the asymmetrical animosities of both the left and right. We should not forget Canada’s immigration policies, the festering antisemitism on our university campuses and the Feds’ growing operational issues governing the Firearms Compensation Program ... PLUS our government’s limitless spending addiction (fiscal deficit year 2025/26 projected at $78.3 billion). Of course, this is merely a preliminary list. These, and more, have the capacity to raise blood pressure and people’s ire.
It is the same in the Church — trust me! I can tell you stories ... lots of them! Thankfully, (a) I chose to dismiss most of the unpleasant, nastier ones .... and (b) thankfully, I have experienced a healing of sorts from my scarred memories these last few years. In my case, I believe the healers were Jesus ... and Old Age! Sure, in the church we can sing with the best of them, “We are not divided, all one body we ...” but sometimes I wonder if the thing that unites us most is our love of dividing over issues?1
Did you know that by the time of the Council of Nicaea (AD 325), there were already over 40 “Christian”
faith groups? Yikes!
But seriously! What about those awkward . . . even tense moments when Christians might have different points of view or different values from ours? Should we ignore them ... write them off ... engage and “set them straight” ... or practice “convictional kindness” and leave them be? I sometimes think that even when two Christians agree on nine out of ten things ... it does not seem unusual for them to focus on the area where they disagree. OK, maybe I am imagining this!
Of course, Christianity is not unique in this, as we know. Orthodox, Reform Conservative and Reconstructionist Jews are not much different. In their philosophical approaches and opinions about Jewish tradition, their interpretation of the Torah and their degree of adherence to halakha while they live out their Judaism in a modern world, can be just as fractious. And then ... there is Muslim spirituality with its three big “denominations”: Shia, Sunni, Ibadi ... and its many off-shoots: Ismaili, Jafri, Hanafi, Maliki, Ibadiyya, Wahabi and Sufi. Lord knows they fight all the time. Nothing unusual here, says Genesis 16:12.
Wisdom dictates we calibrate our conscience to
align with God’s will.
The Apostle Paul was frequently arbitrating between Christians who disagreed. Oh, he had his own strong convictions on most things ... and if he thought the gospel itself was at stake, he certainly did not back down; his combative letter to the Galatians proves that. On matters of secondary importance however, the apostle takes a different track - more interested in helping folks settle their disputes than he was in “putting people right” and Romans 14 (also I Corinthians 8-10) testifies to this.
The immediate context of the passage in Romans 14 is that the believers in Rome were disagreeing over eating certain kinds of food and keeping certain kinds of days special. Though surely not Tier One issues, they were nevertheless important. By virtue of their ethnicity, they were Jews, so integrating their foundational Jewish identity and practices with the new, inclusive demands of the Gospel - like the inclusion of Gentile (non-Jewish) believers - understandably presented challenges ... and we should not be insensitive to this fact. I mean, put yourself in their shoes.
On one side we have early Jewish Christians orientating their worldview around Jesus, believing that their self-understanding of Jewish traditions was consonant with their high eschatological view and expectations of this Nazarene (a judgment, a resurrection, a restoration of a Davidic dynasty, a new age). The other side believed this nascent Christian religion stood in contrast to the faith of Israel. We do know that within a few decades, Christianity would further differentiate itself theologically from Judaism. But for the moment – we have a Christianity that begins among Jews, who are distinguished from other Jews by virtue of this belief in the special status of Jesus. What to do ... What to think ... What to practice ... were legitimate questions, deserving answers. Romans 14 is the Apostle Paul’s practical effort to bridge this divide/debate/dispute within “the Church”. Perhaps Paul’s perspective here can help us negotiate those awkward moments when we have differing points of view or values from our brothers/sisters in Christ. So, as I flesh out Romans 14 here, you decide!
Since we have no first-century Jewish texts that irrefutably make polemical references to the “Christians,” it is difficult to know how
Jews responded to Christian claims to be t
he right interpreters of their tradition.
Accept One Another — God Has Accepted You! (vv. 1-4)
When it comes to disputable matters, Paul identifies two different groups of Christians in Romans 14: the strong ones and the weak ones (v. 2; also see 15:1). We get it wrong if we believe the apostle is intending to define particular camps, a common default among those reading Paul here. I think it more accurate to understand the apostle to be merely spotlighting differing convictions (not camps) within the Roman church, notwithstanding the fact that the church here in Rome would have likely consisted of Gentile-majority believers (non-traditionalists). In addressing the congregation, Paul writes “receive the one who is weak in the faith” (14:1) — suggesting a majority identified with “the strong” (15:1).
The natural tendency is for ...
'weaker' Christians to be judgmental of those who exercise greater freedom, and
'stronger' Christians to patronize or look down on those who are more “sensitive” and who believe they are more discerning.
The first verse in Romans 14 gives us the theme of the entire chapter: “Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters.” It seems clear from the passage that the disputable practices here were social and communal in nature, guided, of course, by their theological convictions.
I like the way the ESV translation frames it: "As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions” (v. 1). That is not to say that these matters are not important to us — but they should not stand in the way of our relationship with other believers, because when we “pass judgment” we come to a negative conclusion about other Christians on the basis of outward behavior in areas that are disputable ... uncertain ... debatable.
Without intending to appear flippant here, admittedly there is no end to the things that Christians might / can / do disagree over. What seems silly to one... can be serious business for someone else.
Seeker-Sensitive Services
Music Styles
Women in Ministry
Cooking with Wine
Birth Control
The Death Penalty
Christians Dancing
Spiritual Gifts
Halloween
The Emergent Church
Modes of Baptism
Buying Lotto Tickets
Pre-emptive Nuclear Strikes
Prosperity Gospel
Timing of the Rapture
The Age of the Earth
... and we have not yet touched politics or political parties!
Seemingly inconsequential issues can threaten both the
church and the gospel. Therefore, free, and strict Christians both have responsibilities toward each other.
We are not alike – and why should we be? We do not think ... look ... talk ... or dress alike, and for sure, we do not all share the same Christian worldview. My hunch is that this diversity is because we do not share the same life path or faith experience. Frankly, nor do we read the Bible in the same way either. The larger the church, the greater likelihood there will be various factions and groups within it. And so it goes. But there is always a danger that our own person gets in the way of those who disagree with us.
“Make friends with everyone in the church without stopping to worry about whether they agree with you on everything or not."
Romans 14:1; Scott’s transl.
Let us reflect for a moment on what God has done for us. The Bible says ...
2 Corinthians 5:19 “God was using Christ to restore His relationship with humanity. He didn't hold people's faults against them, and He has given us this message of restored relationships to tell others.” MSG
Ephesians 2:4-5 “It's a wonder God didn't lose His temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, He embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on His own, with no help from us!” MSG
Divine forgiveness is the eternal, immutable plan of God. It is not an act of excited sympathy.
Divine forgiveness is irreversible, without limitation. Every sin a Christian shall commit is abundantly pardoned by the Lord.
Divine forgiveness occurs within a believer—grace works a change in their heart.
Divine forgiveness signifies that God will never seek any further atonement. In the words of Hebrews 10:18: “Now where remission of these is, there is no more offering for sin.”
This is why ...
Paul says (14:2) vegetarians and meat-eaters can get along;
The pacifist and the Christian soldier can worship together;
The one who thinks women can teach and lead in the church and the one who does not, can call each other brothers/sisters.
Uniformity is not imperative; consensus is not a must. We do not have to all believe the same way ... think the same thing ... or behave the same way. I like the counsel to us in Romans 14:4 ... “To his own master he stands or falls.” Accept one another—God has accepted you! (vv. 1-4)
Have Your own Convictions — Jesus is Your Lord (vv. 5-9).
I remember speaking in a church where, following the service, a lady came to me and matter-of-factly told me she was thinking of leaving the church. I asked her why and she said because the pastor would not let her sing solos in the service.
“Does the pastor know you would like to sing in a church service?” I asked.
“Well, not really,” she replied. “But other folk get to sing solos. I would like to, as well.”
“Can you sing?” I asked, not sure if I should ask the angel Gabriel for divine protection.
“I am a good singer,” she said.
“OK, let me hear you sing Amazing Grace.” And so there at the front of the church, with others waiting in line, she started into singing. She was about three notes in when my whole body (inside only) started to quiver and shake. For a moment I felt like Simon Cowell on American Idol, listening to some horrible first audition. Sorry – but some folks just cannot carry a note.
I confess, I felt like saying, “Listen lady, Elvis Presley was right – You Ain’t Nothing but a Hound Dog” . . . but then, I have heard Tennessee hound dogs do more justice.
Paul must have had this lady in mind when he wrote in Romans 14:5 ... “One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.”
The lady was a Christian. She was fully convinced in her own mind that she could sing solos. Truth was, she could not carry a note ... and I told her so! It was not the answer she was looking for. She chose not to believe me and before leaving said she was “still thinking of leaving the church.”
To be clear, these believers were ‘weak’ only because they
lacked the conviction that their faith permitted them to
do things that were, in fact, permissible.
When I read Romans 14, I am struck by the fact that nowhere does Paul say it is the job of those who are “strong” to convince the “weak” that their opinions are wrong. Nowhere does Paul tell the "strong" to try to convert the "weak." Paul does not even tell the "weak" to "get with the program" and drop their silly opinions. Instead, he says something like this:
Let the strong be strong.
Let the weak be weak.
Let the strong (freedom) and the weak (restriction) live together in peace.
I read Paul’s gem of wisdom, and I think of that classic Pepsi ad some years ago that featured the sound of a bottle being opened, emphasizing the pop of the cap, the fizz of the soda and ... the ahh of satisfaction. Yes, the “ahh of satisfaction.” What Paul says makes absolute sense!
Ephesians 5:7 reminds us “. . . That doesn't mean you should all look and speak and act the same. Out of the generosity of Christ, each of us is given his own gift.”
I think it is important to say that the apostle is acting pastorally. The use of “weak” here is not intended as some sort of put-down ... a kind of scornful insult. These are simply believers whose faith and understanding of Christian liberty is controlled with respects to certain non-essential matters. There is certainly no lack of genuine faith among them. The challenge, not unlike our own, is in applying gospel principles consistently to daily life issues – many for which there is no clear defining direction. Let both hold their convictions in honour of the Lord (v. 6). Coming down on the ‘right’ side of an argument is frankly, less important than how we relate to those who disagree with us.
For sure, there are some things for which there can be no compromise ... no negotiation — things like the inerrancy of Scripture, the Tri-unity of God, Virgin Birth, Substitutionary Death, Vicarious Atonement, Christ’s Death and Resurrection, the Visible, Bodily Return of Jesus Christ. These important truths must be insisted on ... even when some call us intolerant.
Consider the famous and sobering words of
Edward John Carnell, “It is better to divide
over truth than to unite around error."
That said, let us admit that most debates within the church of Christ, and among believers, are on secondary issues – issues where the Bible seldom speaks clearly. In these cases, you are free to have your own convictions, but be sure to hold them lightly in your hands lest you make the line between essentials and non-essentials fuzzy ... vague ... ambiguous. If it is not ‘your’ view, then let it go. Do not worry about it. Make sure that Jesus remains the object of your life. But here is the rub. Can we at least admit that one of the reasons we might differ is because our ...
Temperaments are different
Spiritual gifts are different
Up-bringing is different
Culture is different
Socio-economic upbringing is different
and influences in our life are different
We ‘do faith’ through a particular life-experience. So diversity is a given. It is alright to have your own convictions. Disagreeing is not always wrong. Have your own convictions, says Paul — Jesus is your Lord (vv. 5-9).
Do Not Judge Others—We Will Each Answer to God (vv. 10-12).
I find Paul’s words in verses 10 through 12 short and sweet! He challenges the desire for Christians to criticize others – by making two points:
First, it is purposeless to judge others. In Romans 14:10, Paul asks, “Why do you judge your brother? Why do you look down on your brother?” I mean, what good does it do? How constructive is it? Has it ever accomplished anything worthwhile?
Second, it is presumptuous to judge others. After all, as he reminds us (Romans 14:10-12), “For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat... So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.” As best as I can figure, there are seven judgments in the Bible. The judgment here is the Christian’s works (2 Corinthians 5:10). Criticizing another believer will be called into account at the Judgment Seat of Christ. So ... if we would take a little time and turn the searchlight within our own hearts, we will find more than enough to keep us humble and busy ... without being preoccupied with others and their different points of view. It is presumptuous of us to pass condemnation on a liberty that God has not condemned. And, no, I am not suggesting here that we are never allowed to judge. That would be theological nonsense.
Both parties were acting out of principled loyalty to Christ. Surely that cannot be a bad thing?
So, let me broaden things out a little here. You are not like me! And I am not like you ... and that is why open discussion by and among Christians on all sorts of topics is a mark of a healthy relationship. Let the meat-eaters and vegetarians challenge each other’s positions — but only if they can do it in love and with deep respect. Traditionalist ... or non-traditionalist ... stay welcoming and non-judgmental. Makes sense to me!
A Final Word: What About Sharp Conflict?
In Acts 15:36-41, Paul and Barnabas had a “sharp disagreement.” The Greek text uses a word from which we get the English word ‘paroxysm,’ which means a violent disagreement.
In fact, the verb is in the imperfect tense, meaning it was a continual quarrel—unending, unyielding, ongoing, heated, intense. Paul and Barnabus – names that go together like David and Jonathan, or peanut butter and jelly ... generally inseparable … suddenly part company (15:39). The New International Version (NIV) says they “parted company” but this is a weak translation. The Greek word (apochōristhēnai) means to “part asunder,” indicating that there was a total break in the relationship; their friendship was torn apart. Barnabas sailed off to Cyprus and Paul turned his head to Syria and Cilicia. So, who was right? You tell me. While it did not create permanent animosity (2 Timothy 4:11) as best as I can figure out, they never ministered together again. Not every sharp disagreement later ends happily ever after, as I can testify to.
It's not as though Martin Luther of Reformation fame,
intended to start a new church. But when they gave him the boot, his “justification by faith” teaching established new churches - spreading the Gospel. Nothing is wasted by God - even conflict.
Not that long ago, I had one of those moments with someone who I have a great deal of respect for ... who was like a second brother to me ... and whose friendship I absolutely cherished and valued. Hardworking, creative, talented, and easy-going, are attributes that describe him well. He’s a great guy! Regrettably, unwilling to break a confidence I was asked to keep by someone in a leadership role, I was defenseless, unable to redeem the moment against an accusation he later brought ... and chose to believe.
Today the relationship lies fractured in the dust of lost trust ... imagined slights ... and the misrepresented, careless, untruthful words of a third party. Powerless to combat the accusation without divulging ‘facts,’ our “sharp disagreement” has left us to part ways, something I still grieve over on occasion. As I am fond of saying, “It Is What It Is.” It has been said, that “truth is still truth, even if no one believes it” ... but that is cold comfort, when the loss is that of a previously dear, close friend — that another person had a hand in destroying. Tragic, painful ... reconciliation seems vaporous. To paraphrase that great theologian Kermit the Frog ... perhaps the future will change things and “Someday I’ll find it, the rainbow connection, the lover, the dreamers and me.” Who knows!
We fool ourselves if we think disagreement, even painful disagreements, between Christians is infrequent. Not so! Good people do “fall out.” Personalities collide and priorities clash ... whether among the “strong” and the “weak” ... or legendary friends. Each will cultivate their viewpoint, arrive at their own conclusions, and respond conditional to that assumption. I think at that point, we leave it in Heaven’s lap.
As we live conscientiously before God, I am prone to believe that we prefer black and white ... right and wrong ... with little grey to worry about. But that is not realistic thinking. For sure, navigating our differences and coming to terms with conflicting views will forever remain a challenge in the body of Christ. My hope is that Paul’s Romans 14 perspective about an ancient quarrel, contributes to our Christian growth ... informs how we might respond to this tension with grace ... and just maybe it moves someone’s deferred healing who is reading this today — in the right direction, so they can flourish. “Only Saying...”
1. Check out Wikipedia’s List of Christian Denominations. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_denominations
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